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Countdown to Halloween with 31 "Spooky" Jokes

October 8, 2015

Let’s get ready for the spookiest day of the year with a collection of jokes sure to bring a laugh or two to goblins everywhere. We’ve compiled 31 of our favorites – one for every day in October – for you to share at the dinner table, on the car ride to school or whenever you need a frighteningly funny pick-me-up!

1.What do ghosts eat for dinner? Ghoul-ash!

2.What are a ghost's favorite pants? Boo jeans!

3.What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!

4.What do you call a skeleton who won't work? Lazy bones!

5.Where is a monster's favorite place to swim? Lake Eerie!

6.Why did the vampire flunk art class? Because he could only draw blood!

7.What's the problem with twin witches? You can't tell which witch is which!

8.Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story? Because there are so many plots there!

9.What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs!

10.Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques!

11.Why are vampires tough to get along with? Because they can be a pain in the neck!

12.Do you know how to make a witch itch?  You take away the w!

13.Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank!

14.Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he couldn't find any body to go with him!

15.What do ghosts like for dessert? I scream!

16.When does a skeleton laugh? When something tickles his funny bone!

17.What's a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist!

18.What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi!

19.Which fruit is a vampire's favorite?  A neck-tarine!

20.When does meeting a black cat brings the worst luck? When you are a mouse!

21.How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? You use a pumpkin patch!

22.What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument? A trombone!

23.What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet? A blood hound!

24.Why is there a gate around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in!

25.Why don't bats live alone? They like to hang out with their friends!

26.Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day? It's good for the bones!

27.What do you call a witch's garage? A broom closet!

28.What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist!

29.Why do mummies make excellent spies? They're good at keeping things under wraps!

30.Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? It raises their spirits!

31.Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? Their bats flew away!

Happy Halloween!